#ShowingUp with Anese Cavanaugh

Mirror Mirror on the wall...How do you create respect?

The way I see it, there are two general ways to come at respect - be entitled to it and expect it; or be generous with it and earn it. Both are real approaches. Both bring completely different energy, elicit completely different emotions, and create completely different impact.

Be honest, where do you "come from"? No wrong answer, truth is half+ the battle.

Some may be surprised that the second path is actually easier (and way more effective) way to go. It doesn't require force and manipulation. It requires peace and contribution.

We don't get respect simply because of what we do or what our name is, we create respect from who we are, how we show up and how we treat ourselves and others. Yes, we can absolutely be respected for great work, talent, impact, etc...that's all great and important. AND there's a deeper element to respect which is the "being" and the people component; how we treat people, how we regard them, the energy we bring to the table, and even our internal dialogue with ourselves. (Note the energy of "entitlement", "demand", "authority", and "must" vs. "connection", "appreciation", "humility", and "truth".)

A couple of magical equations I've noticed with clients:

If you want more respect...be respectful.
If you want to be seen and understood...see and understand.
If you want appreciation and to be valued...appreciate and value.
If you want contribution...contribute.
If you want generosity...be generous.
If you want trust...be trustworthy (and trust).
If you want things different...lead.

Yes, there's a pattern here...That thing you want so much? Create it by being it. (I don't know about you, but I think that is like the coolest thing ever. Does not mean it's easy.) Note that this isn't just about "being it" for other people, this includes "being it" for yourself. (Do you respect yourself? Value self? Lead self?)

Part of the work I do with clients is helping them to shift their mindset, energy, and actions for greater influence, impact and purpose. The bonus? In the process they create congruent happiness and greater internal respect. (Again, so cool.) The invitation? Identify that thing that's in your 'craw' - that thing you want, that hangs you up...now go do it for someone else, and be it for yourself.

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