#ShowingUp with Anese Cavanaugh

Self-Agency with Your Commitments (and Results)

In my article on #TuesdayTreats earlier this week I talked about how we create our reality and results through what we are committed to (if you do not receive these weekly notes, you can get them by subscribing on my communications list).

 

In Tuesday’s article, I posed the question: "What are you (truly) committed to?" And offered that the answer to that question can be found in your current results, outcomes, and how you feel.

 

Let’s take health for example: If I want a healthy body, and solid energy, and to be in my strongest resource state in order to lead well and feel good. I might say I’m committed to my health, vitality, and showing up well. Great. BUT, if I don’t take care of myself, forego sleep for an extra hour of TV or social media at night, skip workouts for drinks and nachos, and I eat fast food instead of preparing something that will be quality fuel... what am I really committed to? (Hint: It’s not vitality, health, and setting myself up to show up well.) In this case, I‘m committed to something else that I’m making more important than my promise to myself of well-being. The trick here is not to judge this, it’s not a “make wrong” or a judgment call -- it’s simply about awareness. Whatever I do, is what I’m committed to. My outcomes are a result of my commitments and where I invest my energy.

 

We can take this anywhere: If I say I want to have a healthy relationship with my partner or spouse, AND instead gather evidence for their wrongdoings or inadequacies -- I may be more committed to being right or looking good than actually creating a healthy relationship. If I say I want a promotion or to take the company to the next level, AND then don’t do the work that has to be done, go the extra mile, dot that extra “I”, ask for help in getting there, or say “NO” to things that don’t serve my energy or mission -- I may be more committed to my comfort, my fear, being liked, or looking good. If I say I want a healthy culture and that we’re committed to having open doors, safety for risk taking, and really supporting every person in doing their best work, AND I shut my doors, don’t give feedback directly, don’t celebrate risk taking (and the learning that can come with it) when it “fails,” and tolerate toxic workplace behaviors, dynamics, and C-players on the team -- I’m not truly committed to creating a healthy culture and the most innovative and solid results possible. (I’ll let you do the math on what the real commitment would be in this case.)

 

See? We could do this all day.

 

Here’s the “hack” for this: when you look at a result you want to create or a way you want to feel, set the intention for it, and then get real. What are you truly committed to? AND what will you have to do and BE in order to create that? And if you’re not getting the results you want or feeling the way you wish to feel, reverse engineer it. Again, this is not about judgment or making yourself wrong -- this is just information to help you decide. You may decide that you’re more committed to comfort, being liked, chilling out, avoiding confrontation, or that bag of Cheetos every night -- that’s totally cool. The leadership is in owning it and being at choice around it (versus victim to the fact that you’re not getting the results you want or feeling the way you want to feel).

 

I find that this work is 70% awareness, 30% what you do with it. Most people don’t make the connection that underneath their results and how they feel, is what they’re truly committed to, the decisions they make, and how comfortable they’re willing to be with their discomfort around really leaning into what they want and having their actions and commitments reflect that.

 

Now you know... What will you do?