#ShowingUp with Anese Cavanaugh

You Set the Tone, You Create Your Reality, Lead.

When I travel I get to meet all sorts of people in airports. Those who inspire me, like Jim, 82 years old with a ton of energy, a strut, and a sparkle in his eye, who was flying off to fulfill one of the items on his bucket list; Christine, a surgeon who cares so immensely about the patient experience — as well as effective treatment — that it brought tears to my eyes; Julie, a traveling senior executive with a child she adores and raises alone, who has made her life hum so well that she’s able to be a rock star mom AND rock it in the business world everyday; and Gene, whose commitment to his culture and his employees feeling seen and cared for, is so high up on his priority list — even more so than the numbers — that the numbers are higher than they’ve ever been.

I also get to meet less than delighted people who teach me to use my skills. Take “Bert”… Boarding a plane last week, I noticed him ahead of me in line, made eye contact, smiled, and said “good morning”. Nada. Turns out he was my seat mate. So I got settled, smiled, said good morning again, and asked him how his day was.

“I’m surviving” he said/scoffed. I felt the energetic “dip” (you know what I’m talking about). “Great!” I offered back. I took a breath, smiled, sat back, relished my coffee and the fact that I’d made my flight (it was close), reflected on the intentions I’d set earlier in the morning, and rebooted. I felt my energetic vibration recalibrate and elevate as I got present in my own space and experience (not his), and envisioned the day, and the people I’d get to work with, ahead of me.

Bert sat for a bit, and then asked me this…

“So… what in the world do you have to be so happy about at 5:45 in the morning? It’s 5:45 in the morning…These flights are brutal. I can’t believe I have to travel this early…” (Maybe you’ve had this conversation?)

I got it, I totally understood where he was coming from.

I had a choice — put my headphones on and ignore. Commiserate. Or consciously engage.

I chose to engage.

I shared that it wasn’t so much that I was delighted to be sitting here on a plane, getting bumped in the elbow by peoples’ luggage, elbows, and buns, at 5:45 in the morning — it was more about the intentions I’d set, the frame I’d put around being here now, and therefore the state I’d created for myself to have an awesome morning.

And we were off.

We ended up having a hearty, and in the end, lovely, discussion.

I could share a number of highlights from that conversation — and maybe I will later. This morning, what’s alive for me as I write this column, is the power of creating our reality. We do it every day, every moment, every breath. And it’s contagious. The people you lead, the people around you, your kids…they sense it, and they follow suit. You do set the tone.

With each of the people mentioned above, Jim, Christine, Julie, Gene, and Bert — they’re each in some way creating their reality by setting intentions (or not) and holding frames that support them in who they are and how they show up in their lives and with the world. In the first scenarios, they all had awareness around intention and what they wanted to create and how they wanted to feel. In Bert’s case, he had those intentions (in my experience, very few people actually desire to be miserable and just “surviving”) — he just wasn’t clear or aware of his power.

In my work with executives and their organizations, I find that about 70% of the game is in awareness — the other 30% is in what you choose to do with that awareness. In Bert’s case — he was NOW 70% there and…he was at choice. (If he chose to be.)

So here are 5 places to look when you want to more intentionally CREATE your impact and reality. (*These steps are from the IEP Method’s “5-Steps to Creating Intentional Outcomes” framework.)

Use them today… It’s Monday. You can do a lot with a Monday. Play with them this week. Let me know how it goes.

  1. What are the outcomes you want to create today??? What do you want to make happen?
  2. What is the emotional impact you want to create today?? How do you want to make others feel? How do you want to feel? How do you want people to experience you?
  3. How will you have to Show Up to make it so? Your presence? Your energy? Your energetic state? Your actions? Body language? It all counts here.
  4. What will you have to believe in order to show up that way? Dig in…this one is gold!
  5. What will you do to make it all so? What’s the action plan?

Create a life you love, take great care of yourself, and go make some significantly positive and contagious impact in the world. Have a great week. X

*The IEP Method® is the core methodology for helping humans create stronger Intentional Energetic Presence® (IEP), as a leader in their life and organization, so they can lead more powerfully and create the impact they desire. Learn more in the book Contagious Culture: Show Up, Set the Tone, and Intentionally Create an Organization that Thrives. (McGraw-Hill, 2015.)

 

This article first appeared on Inc.com on April 18, 2016

 

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