Leadership, Culture, Impact | Active Choices, Inc. | Anese Cavanaugh | The IEP Method®

Get in front of "stress"... create "balance"

Written by Anese Cavanaugh | August 19, 2009

Years ago when I started coaching clients, I bought into the idea (for a very short snippet of time) that life could be perfectly balanced and SHOULD be perfectly balanced and that it was all about getting the "wheel of life" balanced into equal "scores" to create peace and balance in their lives.

I quickly realized my thinking was WAY flawed, ditched that idea, and instead started leading the charge for the idea that if an area of one's life was rated at a "3" and that was okay, to leave it alone - delight in it actually - and make shifts in the areas that were true WANTS for change - not SHOULDS. ("Shoulds" I might add that were usually dictated by others' opinions of what balance looked like.)

I spend a good part of my time experimenting for myself, and with clients, exploring authentic ways to achieve the feeling of "balance" that everyone says they so badly want and need (and ironically seems to get tougher and tougher to achieve as we continue to create even better things in our lives!) I'll be sharing some of these methods on this blog over the next few weeks - for now here are a couple - take or toss at will!

Fully engage in the moment in the areas of your life that are most important to you. For me, this often means my family, my business, my own wellness and any relationships or engagements I agree to participate in. Being fully engaged NOW and giving it 100% in the moment is where I find MY feeling of balance. Giving myself permission to fully engage NOW and trust that the other stuff will be there when I'm ready to fully engage there - is what helps me find that feeling of peace. I find time and time again that when I do anything but this - I get behind very quickly, and the feelings of stress and "unbalance" run amuk!

Ask yourself some questions...Byron Katie created "The Work" - 4 Questions that will change your life (check her out www.thework.com.) The first question's essence is "Is it true?" The second is "Do you really know it's true, without a doubt?" The third question is "How do you behave when you believe this thought?" And the fourth question is "Who would you be without that thought?" This one's my favorite - because when you try this on, you'll likely find a significant shift in your thoughts and behaviors. Trying these 4 questions on, I find that my feelings of "balance" increase significantly as I bust myself again and again (and hopefully in loving and playful ways) for "making stuff up." Check it out - you may notice that when you are feeling the most stress in your life and in your day, you're likely caught into some story. So ask yourself a question or two and breathe. Works everytime!

Have a great day....ac