#ShowingUp with Anese Cavanaugh

The 4 basic needs

One of the things I've been acutely aware of lately with my clients is the challenge they have of being pulled in so many directions. They're expected to lead, communicate, navigate change, collaborate, direct, give feedback, grow their people, engage, mentor, produce results, model mindset, and, if they're working with me, stay incredibly present while managing their energy and impact through all of it! Tricky.

The impact of having so many demands and wanting to do a good job with all of them, is that often the leader ultimately feels they're not doing enough, or that they're not doing anything well. On the flip side, the people who look to them for mentorship and leadership can feel the energy of this, feel "neglected" or worst case, interpret it all as "that they're not cared for or valued." Neither of these perceptions is the intended one, and no one feels great.

So what to do, what to do?

4 core needs that most every human being has….

  • To be seen and valued for the person they are
  • To be connected with others
  • To know that our life has meaning and that we're contributing to something "bigger than us"
  • To grow

Address one, or all of these things, and you'll increase your connection and intimacy with the people in your life. What's really great, is that by having an honest, and even brief, conversation with someone acknowledging who they are, what they're doing, and that you believe in them (sincerely of course), you address all 4. Key thing here: it doesn't have to be a long deep conversation, you just have to be authentic and present.

This may not clear your "to do" list or have you feeling like you have it all figured out, but it can take you a step in the right direction with the people you care about.

If you would like more on this, I wrote a full issue on it (in the Engaged Leader/Engaged Life series) a couple of months ago. You can order the full issue, with an action guide and ways to engage, on my website, or you can order the full series for additional savings and tools!