In the spirit of today's holiday, these points are dedicated to “trick” — leading inauthentically and wearing a mask, or “treating” — leading congruently, no mask, just YOU.
Are you spending a lot of time in meetings? How about in your head? Both have value. Both overdone are exhausting. So this week, try one or all of these five ways to make your meetings and mindset better.
I have things I‘ve done in the past that I would now do 100 times differently; decisions I’ve made, the way I’ve written or spoken about something, the way I’ve navigated a relationship, the way I’ve judged something, the way I’ve parented, the way I’ve shown up in conflict -- I could make an exhaustive list.
I have few regrets. I do have “frets.” Few regrets because I can turn just about anything into a gift and a productive lesson (anything), frets because there are some things that I will “fret” on, rework in my head, and even try to change the outcome of. Sometimes for years. It’s not a full-time job, it doesn’t wreck me, but these frets can be quietly present, draining precious mental and emotional energy (even when they’re unconscious), but especially when the situation comes into memory or impacts the present state. When they show up in my consciousness, I can go to the “Land of What If.” Know it?
This past weekend was one of the best weekends of my life. Did I go anywhere? Hang out on a beach? Unplug? Do nothing? Party with friends? Get ten massages? No.
Forty-eight hours that were so restorative I felt like I'd gone on a two-week vacation. When the weekend completed I was clear and awake to questions I'd been percolating on for months and not been able to access answers to.
How far you go with your leadership is directly related to how comfortable you can be with your discomfort. It's going to be harder to lead at your greatest edge, grow people optimally, have hard conversations, hold boundaries, and stretch out of your own comfort zones if you're not comfortable with being uncomfortable.
How well you can hold space for another human being is directly related to how comfortable you can be with your discomfort. It's going to be harder to hold space for someone to be in their own pain, to be angry, to be struggling, to be in their own discomfort, (or even to be fully shining and rocking it!), if you're not comfortable with your own pain, anger, struggle, discomfort, and shining.