I have things I‘ve done in the past that I would now do 100 times differently; decisions I’ve made, the way I’ve written or spoken about something, the way I’ve navigated a relationship, the way I’ve judged something, the way I’ve parented, the way I’ve shown up in conflict -- I could make an exhaustive list.
I have few regrets. I do have “frets.” Few regrets because I can turn just about anything into a gift and a productive lesson (anything), frets because there are some things that I will “fret” on, rework in my head, and even try to change the outcome of. Sometimes for years. It’s not a full-time job, it doesn’t wreck me, but these frets can be quietly present, draining precious mental and emotional energy (even when they’re unconscious), but especially when the situation comes into memory or impacts the present state. When they show up in my consciousness, I can go to the “Land of What If.” Know it?