#ShowingUp with Anese Cavanaugh

10 Things to Say or Do to Get Your Life Back

No doubt, there is a lot going on for people and business right now. I know there always is -- and this last month alone, with the level of growth, break ups, business reboots, politics, and downright drama - up-leveling, creating your life, healing, navigating authentically, and making magic (your way) are all on my mind.

No matter where you're at right now in this moment; feeling crowded, heart-broken, conflicted, in too much pain to stay but too comfortable to go, frustrated, completely overwhelmed, or overjoyed - in regards to a personal OR business relationship or whatever - here are 10 things you might try, do, or say to work your path over and move forward more powerfully. Take what serves, toss what doesn't, and tweak at will to fit your big beautiful life and impact.

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Are You Cool or Cruel With Your Feedback?

I was facilitating a multi-team session recently when the topic of dealing with "tough employees" came up. Apparently there was an employee who was making everyone's life miserable. And no matter what they did, he wasn't shifting. They didn't feel like they could fire him yet, so they just worked around him, tolerated him, complained to each other, and hoped it would get better.

Or that he would go away.

They said they'd done everything to address this situation.

They had...They had done everything except:

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Signs You’re Sucking Energy Out of the Room (and What to Do About It)

I had a meeting with my team last week. All of us were prepared, we had some good stuff to dig into. Everyone showed up on time, checked in, confirmed our agenda, and then…

I blew it.

Yep, me, as the team leader… blew it.

How? My presence. Despite being prepared, having all the “stuff” I needed to have to have a great meeting, and all the right “actions” – my presence was off.

Our normally high vibration, present, positive energy meetings, turned into dysfunctional sludge; the sludge had nothing to do with what I said or did – it was my energy and what I brought into that Google Hangout.

Fortunately, I quickly realized I was sinking the “room”, was able to name it, reboot, and get us back on track. (Ironic. Here we are, a company helping people up-level presence in order to be more effective in their leadership and impact, and I had just sucked the energy out of the room. With my beautiful team. Wow.)

How awesome.

So what happened?

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Is That Hot Dog Worth Your Next Promotion?

It was 11:00 a.m., on a Tuesday. I jumped on a video call with a client to work on his strategy for taking his career to the next level. He was well qualified for a promotion and very hungry to make it happen.

I was ready to roll. He was... exhausted.

At 11:00. On a Tuesday morning.

As we faced each other on pixels I noticed his energy was low, his face "muted", his voice quieter than usual. His presence communicated drudgery and fatigue. Not only could I see it, I could feel it.

I asked how he was doing...

"Exhausted. I don't know how I'm going to make it through today -- I'm back-to-back in meetings, and all of them are important."

"Hmmm... It's only Tuesday, at 11:00 a.m. What's up?" I asked.

"I had a big weekend; we BBQ'd, lots of hot dogs, chips, and beers... I guess I'm still recovering."

"Was it worth it?"

"Ya, it was great. I'll recover. What are we working on? Sorry, I didn't have time to prepare."

Hmmm...

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How to Build and Nourish Trust (Even After You've Lost It)

If you have it, you rarely think about it. If you don't have it, you likely grapple with it--even if you don't realize it. It mends wounds, inspires creativity, creates true engagement, allows for real relating, results in better and bigger ideas, provides a safety net for taking risks, creates safety and intimacy, and simply feels good. It's essential to "right relationship" and it's one of your strongest units of leadership and human currency. What is it?

If you have it, you rarely think about it. If you don't have it, you likely grapple with it--even if you don't realize it. It mends wounds, inspires creativity, creates true engagement, allows for real relating, results in better and bigger ideas, provides a safety net for taking risks, creates safety and intimacy, and simply feels good. It's essential to "right relationship" and it's one of your strongest units of leadership and human currency. What is it?

Trust.

This word is thrown around almost as much as the word "busy".

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