The Positive Energy Workplace

A friend of mine came to my office today for a session to work on her business. We had 2 hours, she was 40 minutes late. When she got here she was harried, stressed, completely pressurized. When I asked her why she was so late (my irritated presence and energy doing nothing to help her), she burst into tears.

Okay, I've gotta write this post for the gentleman I just got off the phone with (you know who you are.) If he allows me, I'll give him attribution for inspiration, for now, I shall call him "Guido". Seven (yep 7) solid reasons for climbing on the receive wagon await you at the end of this post, but allow me to build up to them with some context and drama.

I have a little rule and it goes something like this...if I am experiencing extreme gratitude, awe or respect for someone, I do everything I can to let them know. (Many a friend/client/colleague/child/family member has received a spontaneous call, text, or shout out of such - not enough, but many.) I don't do it every time (that would be almost impossible because I feel this way about 73% of the day for the people in my life), BUT, if it comes up a couple of times, or if I have a strong sense to do something about it; a call, a note, or a text is bound to happen.

And when I do honor this sense, the only job of the recipient, the only thing I ask, is that they receive it. Really receive it. I mean...LET. IT. IN. They don't even have to say thanks - I just want them to feel it, and to know that they've had impact; they've "changed" me, in some way, for the better...

When they receive and let it in, I feel it. And I feel good. My being is impacted. I have connected and shared my truth, and it has landed "over there." Someone knows they matter - a lot. My day is better. They are likely energized. They're bound to pay that energy forward in some way. The world is a better place.

But this art of receiving...this is not always easy. I say this as a teacher and a student...receiving is a leadership skill.

One of the trickiest things to do in these beautiful lives we lead can be the simple act of honoring ourselves. "Trusting our intuition." "Going with our gut." These phrases are tossed around with great popularity. The spouters of such wisdom being hailed as gurus, wise sages, and teachers pointing us to that bottom line truth within us that we know to be true, but so easily forget or too often override. Hearing people talk about this, it seems easy, an "of course!" Doing it, is a whole different animal.

It takes commitment and choice to honor intuition. It is an active process.

It creates impact. Impact that is too important to ignore.

I've been observing the differences between intuition vs. fear vs. comfort zones a lot lately. It seems the more sophisticated my business gets, the bigger the game becomes, and the more people I meet who are up to big things...the harder it becomes to discern between intuition and fear. I grapple with this, and I see others grapple with it as well in their own unique way. And I've learned this has a cost; emotional, time, energetic, and yes, financial. The amount of money I've spent, just over the last 3 years alone, when I've ditched my intuition is significant. (Yes, I added it up.) I've decided I can be horrified by this, or I can now claim my honorary PhD in "honoring your intuition" and use my new found powers for good. I'm going with Dr. Anese.

All this being said, all costs aside, I think the financial cost is the least of it. I believe that the biggest cost of not honoring our intuition is in the spiritual cost, the energetic cost, and the cost to the impact we're meant to have on this planet as leaders in our lives and organizations. This is a very big deal.

How do you tell the difference between fear and intuition? How do you honor yourself, stay true to yourself at all costs, and create the impact you're meant to create?

The fine art of giving and receiving has been on my mind a lot lately...I've been holding it as "graceful reciprocity."

Giving without expectation or attachment. Receiving with grace and intention.

There is a fine line between the two.

Contribution is a big deal in leadership and creating. The ability to receive gracefully is a big deal as well. People often miss the link between the two.

In order to contribute at our highest ability, we also have to be able to receive well. To give without expectation or attachment - being generous and open; and to receive with grace and presence - being vulnerable and open to another...that is the fine art of reciprocity.

On the flip side of this and taking the "fine line" a bit deeper: when we contribute with expectation, because we want something, or when we receive with resistance, fear or skepticism - it ruins the magic of what's possible.

I believe it is an art to dance between the two; an art that takes intention, clarity, vulnerability, and truth. And when it's there, when we get it even close to "right", magic happens. The energy of graceful reciprocity flows.

I was having dinner with a client last week when we got to talking about change, and more specifically, what gets in the way of people creating what they want in their lives. What makes people STOP when they get close to what they want, and in some cases, way before then? Words like "comfort zones", "fear", and "ecology" were flowing...Now of course, in the spirit of total transparency, in addition to some of the issues he was seeing with his own team and organization, he was also challenging me to do something that kind of...scares. the. pants. off. of. me...My client was holding MY feet to the fire. (Fancy that...I'd be lying if I said it wasn't...delicious.)

Where the conversation started, and where it ended, is not as necessarily as important as what happened in the middle...

We outed the mysterious "they."

Who is this mysterious "they"? Now before I go further, I don't know if any of you have this guy in your family, but when I was growing up, we had a 7th member of our family named "nobody." "Nobody" was the one who left the milk out, the bathroom a mess, the chores undone, my sisters' hair pulled..."nobody" was a strong force in our home. (Oddly, now as a parent, "nobody" has somehow found his way into our home as well.) "Nobody's" job was to keep us safe, to be our scape goat, to prevent accountability. In retrospect, I actually see that in many ways, "nobody" kept us from growing. He got a lot of our many great life lessons.

Anyhow...I'm fairly certain that "nobody" is a very close cousin to "they". And "they" is now getting all the "good stuff."

Here's how I notice it plays out...