The Positive Energy Workplace

The Power of Wanting...

The Want List...

This is a picture of one of my clients who came out to St. Charles this last week for a Private DTE Retreat. This is Dr. Cheryl Perlis (Perlis Wellness Center in Lake Bluff, Il) and she is one phenomenal doctor, with a mission that runs deep and involves supporting and empowering women in and with their bodies, at all ages. She specializes in Gynecology and Aesthetic Solutions, and I will say, hands down that she has to be one of the kindest, most thoughtful, cool, committed, no-nonsense, and loving doctors I've ever met. Anyway, here's Cheryl at our retreat earlier this week in St. Charles. This picture in particular is one of my favorites...It's a picture of her "holding" her "want list."

Notice the 5 full flip charts that she's filled out? Those are the things that she wants to have an impact on, bring into her life, make happen and pay it forward with. That's quite a want list. What's also powerful is that those things on her want list have multiple positive ripple effects. She gave me permission to share this with you as I was struck by the power of this woman and her list. I was struck by who she had to be to allow herself to create it, where she had to allow herself to "go"...fully engaged, full permission, awake, and hungry. Here she is - arms wide - holding the power of want. And what's really cool is that this want list, will help her mission and vision manifest itself in even more powerful ways - so not only does she feel great, others benefit as well. The visual of her working on this list and then lined up against the wall with it is something I've imprinted in my heart and mind and will keep with me for a long long time. It all started with the simple question of "What do you want?" And it inspired this post. So let's talk about wanting...

Anese & Cheryl - Post Retreat

Ultimately every client or program participant who works with me can count on being asked THE "How bad do you want it?" question within about 15 minutes of us knowing each other...often less, and most often before they even get to the consult appointment with me. I've gotten to the point that if a person tells me they want "it" less than an 7 or an 8 on a scale of 0-10 (10 being highest), I'll suggest that we wait to work together. Abrupt? Not at all. I say it in service of the client, their time, energy and money, and in service of my time, energy and attention. If someone comes to me to make shifts in their own leadership or behaviors or wants to make a significant change in their lives, I want, and even need, them to really want it. (We joke that I can't want it more than they do.) Making sustainable changes can be difficult enough, even when the want dial is at an 8 out of 10... So getting clear on the reasons why they want something, and really how much - helps.

I'm in Tucson right now, writing this sitting pool side in some beautiful weather. It's gorgeous here right now, not too hot, just a light breeze - all good. I'm here for some meetings with colleagues, a client and my private master mind group. We get together about every 6 months to work on our businesses, flush out ideas, put strategies in place, etc. I've been a part of these types of groups since 2003 in one way or another and find the space that gets created as a group highly productive!

Food for thought on this lovely Tuesday afternoon...I've been "gathering evidence..." I've been looking at the cost of "disengagement" - in organizations, at work, at home, in our schools, on our teams. It's pretty significant. Emotionally. Energetically. Financially. Spiritually.

It's pretty much impossible to create magic and depth with a disengaged team, partner, spouse, student, etc. If you're creating it inspite of congratulations...and what could be possible with a little nudge of engagement?

What do you think? What's the cost of being unengaged?

Make Room for Your Best Self and Do What You are Here to Do... Take a moment to ponder all that you are involved with in your life. Your organization, your family, your personal goals and commitments, health, finances, soccer games, etc.

Thinking about all that we have to do, and all we're committed to, can create a sense of overwhelm just in itself (although, our thoughts about what we have to do and how we "feel" about overwhelm are actually more stressful and overwhelming than the real tasks to be done - but that's a whole other article.)

How bad do you want it?

With every client I work with, I am reminded of three of the key elements absolutely necessary for success in creating change in our lives and organizations. We have to want it. We have to be willing to make the time, space and energy to do the work and hold the intentions to get it. And we have to take ownership for our results. No excuses. No blaming. No passing the buck. No “I’m so busy my goals have to go to the bottom of the priority list.” No “Somebody else has to change.” Nope, I’m talking, full responsibility and ownership for achieving the results we say we want. Period.

It’s okay if we’re not totally clear on what we want (in fact, much of my work is done helping people find that for themselves and, for some, it can take years to find “the thing” – so for those out there that are unclear, rest assured you’re not alone.) What is important is that there is a commitment and a yearning to be awake to the process, to see where we might be part of the “problem,” to pro-actively seek and take the time, to be willing to look and find the “no, not that’s” in our lives and to make conscious room in our lives to work on finding the big “YES.”