The Positive Energy Workplace

I had a fascinating and eye opening experience this last week. A vendor we’ve been working with, who is wonderful and has always been eager to be helpful…was not her normal self. I’ll spare you the details, except to say that here’s what I noticed: her energy was off, she was short with me and tense, and when I asked her to help me with something – that I knew she wanted to help me with – she said “it’s out of my control, my power has been taken away.” I left there feeling less excited about and connected to the company, bothered about my customer care person and the experience, deflated, and not really eager to go back. I also felt a breach of trust (no great reason for it, just the feeling I had.) I left there wondering if I should find another vendor, drop the deal (it’s a BIG deal – high dollars, high value), or just blow it all off. The more I thought about it, the more bugged I got...it was incongruent with my experience of the past. I went back to find out what was up…In a word…”leadership.”

I hiked about 28 miles last week. Real “hiked”. Not the kind of hiking you do on flat ground, on a trail, in the park, real, full on, “mountains, boulders, rocks, lava, slick rock, switch backs, mochi ball, cacti, watch for snakes, scorpions, hila monster, heart rate hiiiiighh, altitude adjust please, second skin, hiking boots a good idea, camel backs necessary, need a massage afterwards” hiking…It was great. I’m always in my glory in the mountains (part of the reason I was happy to move back to the West Coast), and I find it a great place to do this work with my clients. Years ago, my first job out of college was as the Fitness Director for a hiking retreat in California. I didn’t realize then how much that job would influence how I evolved my work with clients years later in my own little organization. Every time I hike, and even every time I train period, but hiking especially, I am reminded of how great the metaphor for life hiking actually is. Add in a client or participant or twelve, and the metaphors come flying in! Here are just 7 things to keep in mind on the “hike” of your life…grab your boots and hit a trail and see how these things resonate for you. For those of you who joined me for the “Leading With Boots On™” Hike last week, you’ll get a nice refresher here. (And this doesn’t even have the half of it! More later perhaps!) :-)

The "energy, being & mindset" of feeding the wolf

The people in the first group, feeding the good gracious wolf, lean into the mindset of looking forward, learning, and being grateful for the education and "gifts" of the experience. They're generally being open, curious, humble, and even courageous. The energy created from this mindset and way of being is expansive, positive, productive, and positively contagious. It tends to create more and more of the same type of energy. The more this individual holds this mindset and energy, the more he feeds the wolf who is devoted to creating more and more of the same. From this comes positive behaviors to support the mindset, and thus more positive energy. The cycle goes on. (All of this supports the cycle you've heard me discuss of "believe, be, do, have" which asserts that what we believe impacts who we "be", impacts what we do, which impacts what results we have.)

On the flip side, feeding the big bad wolf will create the mindset that is rank with blame, abdication, isolation, and darkness. One feeding this wolf may generally be closed, ego driven, all knowing, and likely insecure (though they'd never have you know this.) The energy created from this mindset and way of being is tight, low, dark, and heavy, and unfortunately, it too, is contagious and has the ability to create more of the same. Once this energy starts to spread, other "wolves" are activated and other situations, which may have not been so bad in the first place, will seem even direr. The learning, and changes if any, from the original incident, are less likely to sustain themselves. This poor - likely very tired - wolf. The impact of this wolf is likely hard on the people around the person, but truly, it is the person feeding the wolf who suffers the most.

Even when it's difficult, we do have the ability to consciously choose which wolf we're going to feed. It can be a conscious choice, though often goes unconscious without this intention. While it may not feel like it in the moment, if we take a pause to give full permission to experience the emotion we're having, we can then manage that emotion and decide what to do with it. We can choose which wolf to feed. In this case, the individual who chooses to feed the good wolf; the wolf that will help her pull learning, come from grace and gratitude, and move forward productively and peacefully, is more likely to create a productive, positive and sustainable result from the event at hand. This is the art of giving oneself full permission for emotional authenticity while practicing self-management, a necessary leadership quality (which is another article in itself.)

The Wolf You Feed: One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 'wolves' inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed." - Native American Parable.

I've always found this story particularly meaningful and graciously simple. Lately, as I witness my clients make big beautiful shifts in their lives and organizations, and as I make shifts in my own (as we transition the business and the lives of 4 people and a dog cross country), I find myself thinking about this story a lot. I notice the wolves that come for food, I notice the impact and the energy of whichever wolf we choose to feed, and I notice the power of choice and consciousness in the matter.

It's really quite cool (though it may not always seem it at the moment of choice), we (as individuals or groups) can experience a traumatic or stressful event, engage in a difficult conversation, or take on a huge task (that is not a ton of fun) -- do the "work" to get through it (which is often just feeding the good wolf despite challenge), and come out okay -- most often truly the better for it. Or, on the flip side of this, we can go through the exact same/very similar experience, resist it, feed the dark wolf, and in the end come out wounded, angry, blaming, and holding onto it (even for years to come.) Same situations... completely different outcomes. As I write this, I'm struck by how so much of the work I do with clients is about helping them increase their awareness that they even feed a wolf, have a mindset, impact others with energy, or have the power to influence their outcomes by being intentional about just these things. If they can first identify their wolves, they can then make productive shifts to move them out of the way and create the results and relationships they want.

Simple leadership musings from the trenches: navigating conflict